How to survive codependency trauma

There is a fine line between being interdependent and being codependent.

Codependency involves having your sense of self-worth revolve around how well you are able to take care of others, including your man. Therefore, if you find that you are stuck in that toxic pattern, here are tips on how to break free.

1. Open up to your partner

You can’t let the cycle continue once you have discovered it in the hope that you can manage it on your own. You have to let your partner know what you are going through and that he has to sit up and pick up his slack. If he does not actively take action then you need to walk out of that relationship. It may not be easy but you must understand that that is the route to your healing.

2. Keep a safe distance

You may fall into that pattern again so to prevent that, have boundaries beyond which you won’t go with people. Also, set boundaries on how far you will go when helping people so you don’t get too involved. Until you can handle it, don’t act like a boss lady.

3. Go into therapy

Yes, even Nigerians need therapy sometimes. It doesn’t mean you are mentally deranged, just that you need a little help and supervision with getting back on your feet- think of it that way.

4. Put yourself first

It is not like I am promoting selfishness but considering where you are coming from, it is a bit necessary. You need self-love to understand that unless you love yourself, you can’t truly love others. So, start with small things like picking something out for yourself before buying for others etc.

 Most of all, be real. If you find yourself slipping into past habits, own up to it and try again.